Everything here is so gosh darn nice it makes your teeth hurt: this revue, back after a three-year hiatus, is well suited to the very old and the very young and probably not many people in between. The Rockettes are the best reason to go, but their scary uniformity and monotonous choreography remind you why it's no fun to watch machines dance--the Raggedy Ann number is refreshing if only because it's floppy. The traditional closing tableau, a glittery Nativity complete with live cattle, is so boring it made me long for a sheep to bolt. Besides, why become suddenly devout after an hour and a half of Santa Claus and presents? It's a choice that seems weirdly doctrinaire and exclusionary. Through 12/24: Fri 2 and 7:30 PM, Sat 1, 4:30, and 8 PM, Sun 1 and 4:30 PM, Wed 2 and 7:30 PM, Thu 7:30 PM. Tue 12/6, 2 PM, Thu 12/8, 10:30 AM and 7:30 PM, Rosemont Theatre, 5400 N. River Rd., Rosemont, 312-559-1212, $24.50-$56.50.