The Nickelodeon cartoon series about an oceanic sponge and his starfish sidekick washes onto the big screen with a tide of weak one-liners, exaggerated reactions, and vaguely nauseating gags, including a live-action David Hasselhoff launching the heroes into the air with his pecs. In other words, your six-year-old will love it. SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg wrote and directed. PG, 90 min.