The Ultimate Emergency | Letters | Chicago Reader

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The Ultimate Emergency

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Dear Reader:

Along with thousands of other Chicago-Americans, I appreciated the informative article of the April 15 Reader ("Which Way to the Nearest Fallout Shelter?").

The article has helped us all be a little more prepared in the case of that ultimate emergency. No use in dialing 9-1-1 at that point, right? (Ha ha.)

No, when Hammer and Sickle attacks Stars and Stripes, it's Ax and Dipper for me.

I admire your courage for facing the possibility of such a grim reality. Broken and smashed pavement, clouds of dust and fumes, frantic and desperate people each trying to get ahead of the next in a mad rush for survival. You know, like rush hour on the Kennedy.

Valuable as your article was to the general public, I believe a follow-up piece is in order, addressing such unanswered questions as these:

What does a full-scale nuclear attack mean regarding the one-year lease I just signed for my stylish artist's loft in Wicker Park? Who cleans up the mess? (Probably not Mr. Landlord. Ha ha.)

What about the extended warranty I signed up for on my new self-defrosting refrigerator? Can I bring my cat to the shelter? Who decides which piped-in music will be played underground? (Modern jazz really drives me up a wall.)

Well, you get my drift. I sure hope the Reader can help put our minds at ease.

"Mr. Citizen"

John Loftus

N. Elk Grove

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