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Time Ends Again

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Dear Cate Plys,

I want to congratulate you on your fine article "A Brief History of the End of Time," in the May 27 issue. As the Chicago-area pope for the Church of the SubGenius (the only one, I might add--did others claiming to be pope journey to Dobbstown in Malaysia to work with the slackless children? I think not), I offer as proof that the church prediction of End Times is authentic because it doesn't appear in your article.

Clearly your hesitation to put it in the article is a wise move on your part. This guarantees that when X Day hits you may not be on the actual flying saucers that will remove dues-paid SubGenius members from earth while our enemies from high school fry, but you are now the first person to have a seat reserved in the stand-by section.

This will continue to give to you a level of hipness only dreamed of by the multitudes. Who knows, on July 5, 1998, at 7 AM you could luck out. But you better hope, for the good of earth as we know it, that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is able to make a deal when the Xists come. Or you could send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to the Subgenius Foundation, PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214. Tell 'em you want to be a member.

Pope Michael Flores

Chicago

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