SOUL TREK: MEETING OUR CHILDREN ON THE WAY TO BIRTH, by Elisabeth Hallett (Light Hearts Publishing, $14.95).
SYNOPSIS: Children communicate with their parents before birth, sometimes even before conception. This communication can come in the form of a dream, a vision, or messages received in the "mind's ear" of one or both parents. Sometimes the babies talk about their previous incarnations.
REPRESENTATIVE QUOTE: "She spoke to us and answered all our questions for forty-five minutes. She was scared to be born and would need lots of love. She went on to say the reason was that she was beaten to death early in her last life. She stated she did not want to live in the city, that she needed trees."
NOTEWORTHY FLAWS: None of the unborn children--eventually given names such as Chandra, Joao, Augustus, Sef, Bridger, and Che--appear to their parents while in the act of projectile vomiting or screeching inconsolably at three o'clock in the morning. Most have blond hair, blue eyes, and smile a lot.
THE GOSPEL OF ELVIS: THE TESTAMENT AND APOCRYPHA OF THE GREATER THEMES OF "THE KING," by Louie Ludwig (The Summit Publishing Group, $9.95).
SYNOPSIS: The story of Elvis Presley, for some reason rendered in a curious blend of the Gospels and The Hobbit.
REPRESENTATIVE QUOTE: "The King returned to Mud City and, as the Snake had foretold, moved to a palace on a hill which He named the Residence of Mercy, and rode about in a chariot of gold. . . . When the King sang, they seemed the greatest stories ever told, and when the King Shook, all in Heaven Shook with Him."
NOTEWORTHY FLAW: Publisher taking pains to ape Politically Correct Bedtime Stories copied the format but neglected to also make the book funny and readable.
SHARKS DON'T GET CANCER: HOW SHARK CARTILAGE COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE, by Dr. I. William Lane and Linda Comac (Avery Publishing Group, $11.95).
SYNOPSIS: Sharks are very interesting creatures that have ruled the seas for 400 million years, in part because they don't get cancer. Sharks have sharp teeth and cartilage instead of bones. By grinding up that cartilage and consuming it, people can also avoid getting cancer. Or arthritis, psoriasis, diabetic blindness, and other ailments. Maybe.
REPRESENTATIVE QUOTE: "In 1991, I was able to enlist the cooperation of the directors of the Ernesto Contreras Hospital in Tijuana, Mexico. . . . It's controversial, yes, but many of history's pioneering scientists have been labeled controversial--men like Galileo, Louis Pasteur, Joseph Lister, and even Jonas Salk."
NOTEWORTHY FLAW: Sharks do get cancer.