True Books | Book Review | Chicago Reader

Arts & Culture » Book Review

True Books

by

comment

The Secret of the Ring Muscles: Healing Yourself Through Sphincter Exercise, by Paula Garbourg (Avery Publishing Group, $10.95).

Synopsis: The "ring muscles" around your orifices--anus, mouth, eyes, etc--are a vital font of health and need to be exercised. Mastery of "sphincter gymnastics" can cure a variety of ailments, not all of them physical.

Representative quote: "Sphincter gymnastics have a very beneficial effect on people suffering from depression. People who are depressed usually have bad posture--their shoulders are slumped, their heads very bowed, and the corners of their mouths pulled down."

Noteworthy flaw: Depression might be cured faster if exercises weren't performed alone.

Courtney Love: The Real Story, by Poppy Z. Brite (Simon & Schuster, $25).

Synopsis: The colorful life of the 32-year-old musician, actress, artist, and romantic icon is examined in some detail.

Representative quote: "Kurt arrived with a bottle of Hycomine cough syrup. 'You're a pussy,' Courtney told him. 'You shouldn't drink that, it's bad for your stomach.'...Then she produced a bottle of Vicodin extra-strength."

Noteworthy flaw: Contains examples of Love's writing, such as "And so will 300yhty ones and i chris and dave dont care, weve gone thru this so much we dont care I DONT" and the letter m repeated 617 times.

The Case for Mars: The Plan to Settle the Red Planet and Why We Must, by Robert Zubrin (Touchstone, $13).

Synopsis: We must colonize Mars to remain vibrant as a society. Fortunately, that won't be too difficult. In time, a ticket to Mars might sell for as little as $320,000, which sounds like a lot, but salaries will be higher there. And don't forget real estate.

Representative quote: "Sold at an average value of $10 per acre, Mars could be worth $358 billion....those who own Mars would have every reason to seek to develop their property via planetary engineering."

Noteworthy flaw: Still 50,000,000 miles away, no matter how you slice it.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): book covers.

Support Independent Chicago Journalism: Join the Reader Revolution

We speak Chicago to Chicagoans, but we couldn’t do it without your help. Every dollar you give helps us continue to explore and report on the diverse happenings of our city. Our reporters scour Chicago in search of what’s new, what’s now, and what’s next. Stay connected to our city’s pulse by joining the Reader Revolution.

Are you in?

  Reader Revolutionary $35/month →  
  Rabble Rouser $25/month →  
  Reader Radical $15/month →  
  Reader Rebel  $5/month  → 

Not ready to commit? Send us what you can!

 One-time donation  →