The Klingon Hamlet, translated by Nick Nicholas and Andrew Strader (Pocket Books, $11.95).
Synopsis: William Shakespeare's play "restored to the original Klingon" by the Klingon Language Institute.
Representative quote: "taH pagh taHbe'. DaH mu'tlheghvam vIqelnIS. quv'a', yabDaq San vaQ cha, pu' je SIQDI'? pagh, Seng bIQ'a'Hey SuvmeH nuHmey SuqDI', 'ej, Suvmo', rInmoHDI'?"
Noteworthy flaw: And yet the "Igpay Atinlay Amlethay" goes unwritten.
Why is Everyone So Cranky? The Ten Trends That Are Making Us Angry and How We Can Find Peace of Mind Instead, by C. Leslie Charles (Hyperion, $22.95).
Synopsis: We're all overworked, underpaid, stressed from a million directions, and don't know how to find relief, such as blowing off our parents and families if they bother us.
Representative quote: "Limit your number of visits per year. Arrive late and leave early.. . . Show up if you must, but don't be an active participant.... Ask yourself why you're going out of your way to appease people you'll never be able to please. Maybe it's time to withdraw permanently."
Noteworthy flaw: Blames product variety. "Try buying cough drops, toothpaste, over-the-counter medications, shampoo, or hair rinse when you're in a hurry. No way!...We spend half of our time reading packages."
The Cult of the Born-Again Virgin: How Single Women Can Reclaim Their Sexual Power, by Wendy Keller (Health Communications, $11.95).
Synopsis: Ladies, are you neglecting your children, your macrame, and your career? It's all that time you waste fucking.
Representative quote: "While celibate, women have found more time to spend with their kids, to get back into hobbies or to increase their career focus and create a lot more income."
Noteworthy flaw: But what about the freakish anomalies who actually like sex?