I have been wanting to write you a letter defending Dan Savage, praising his gritty, fierce opinions as hard-hitting and on target. Thank goodness I read the January 19 article first [Savage Love]. In it his advice to a straight man whose girlfriend wanted more sex than he did was to try different options to get himself in the mood to satisfy her. However, when it came to a gay man whose lover wanted more sex, he advised the man to let his lover "screw around on the side." Knowing this would piss off many loyal readers, Savage then attempted, like a coward, to preempt any complaints about his Neanderthal attitude. He whined that readers would feel jealous that he is favoring gay people with his double standard.
In fact he is not favoring them, but encouraging destructive behavior in gays he does not endorse in straights. He is also completely ignoring the relationship of the gay couple in question by assuming that NHE's boyfriend wants to screw around on the side, when the complaint in the first place was not just a desire for sex, any sex, but for NHE's enthusiasm. What makes him think that NHE's boyfriend getting a hand job from a stranger in a smoky bar will bring the two men closer?
Though he briefly mentions "the strictest of safe sex," the rest of his article is spent exhorting "sex clubs," getting "laid," having "sex on the side," and "quick, anonymous homosex." Does this sound safe? Or does it sound like Savage, himself supposedly gay, has endorsed an attitude of homophobia, encouraging gay men to "spread [their] horniness around," along with possibly fatal diseases?