- Celine Loup
To gauge how people react when they're accused of being hipsters, we considered two options: scream it at the cool types who stand in line outside the Whistler on Saturday nights or just go ahead and ask our 60,000 Twitter followers. The nature of violence being what it is here in Chicago—and taking into account that "hipster" is considered an insult by an overwhelming portion of our ornery, bespectacled population—we chose the latter.
Whether funny or defensive, the responses turned out to be revelatory: you guys basically told us what "hipster" means at the moment. So thanks. And sorry in advance to the people we call out (including ourselves) for so obviously fitting the profile.
Say, "But I don't have any tattoos." RT @Chicago_Reader Someone calls you a "hipster." How do you react?— Heather Kenny (@heatherkenny) September 18, 2013
All right, so, hipsters definitely have tattoos. Preferably of illustrations from their favorite works of children's literature.
Quoting Tyler, the Creator is the only thing more hipster than Tyler, the Creator riding a can of PBR over a moon that's being howled at by a wolf that's screen-printed on a vintage T-shirt.
I was into indie rock, dorky glasses etc. in 90s BEFORE it was "hipster" RT @Chicago_Reader Someone calls you a "hipster." How do you react?— katherine of chicago (@kofchicago) September 18, 2013
I'm pretty sure that just means you were a 90s hipster.
Sorry I don't know what that is. I don't own a TV. RT @Chicago_Reader Someone calls you a "hipster." How do you react?— Michael W. Sphar (@mikesphar) September 18, 2013
THE absolute perfect mock-hipster answer. Kudos.
See. I knew someone would threaten violence.
@Chicago_Reader Prove them wrong by bringing up Jesus.— Nathan Cotter (@NathanCotter) September 18, 2013
Hipsters aren't into JC. Beard envy.
"@Chicago_Reader: Someone calls you a 'hipster.' How do you react?" I give them an evil sneer as I twirl the ends of my handlebar mustache.— TheBeverlyBrewmaster (@BvrlyBrewmaster) September 18, 2013
Oh, you knew mustaches were coming.
RT @Chicago_Reader: Someone calls you a "hipster." How do you react? - too cool to react bro. I might exhale.— !RYAN FUCKING MEGA! (@RyanMega) September 18, 2013
With surprise, since I'm 38, married and have a kid. RT @Chicago_Reader: Someone calls you a "hipster." How do you react?— Scott Smith (@ourmaninchicago) September 18, 2013
Hipsters don't have kids, wives, or (I'm filling in a blank here, sorry) reliable employment.
@Chicago_Reader I am a fat old dad so I'd be pretty confused— JimTheBearDad (@JimTheBeerGuy) September 18, 2013
Yeah, but hipsters sure like beer, @JimTheBeerGuy . . .
@Chicago_Reader with a shrug. I like underground music, craft beer, and have horn-rimmed glasses. They're not pulling that out of the blue.— jongraef (@jongraef) September 18, 2013
"Honesty" is such a lonely word.
@Chicago_Reader say "yes, I am a hipster." Because we all know hipsters don't admit that they're hipsters.— Dylan Yost (@fender4life1425) September 18, 2013
@Chicago_Reader Like any true hipster, I ignore them and go back to reading my Chicago Reader.— Robert Loerzel (@robertloerzel) September 18, 2013
@Chicago_Reader "People still use that word?"— H.P. Lovecats (@lefttheprairie) September 18, 2013
After this piece hits stands, maybe not for long.