Two Ads You Didn't See in 1988 | Year In Review | Chicago Reader

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Two Ads You Didn't See in 1988

Even if you think maybe you did.


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"So there we all are: the CEO, two VPs, and the MIs, all from BBD&O in LA, but we're meeting on the QT--OK? We've got a Wang VS carrying RFBs through their IBM, and they're both talking to the Kaypro PC at their HQ in LA. Oh, and I forgot to mention, the RBIs and ERA are being expedited to their own RCA VCR in PV--you know, Puerto Vallarta. The whole idea of the demo is to show them how WI-ZIG--the Wang Inferential Zygomorphic Interface Grid--can TKO anything else they've seen with the force of an NFL running back. It's just what the doctor ordered--the perfect Rx. Anyway, these guys have to catch an SST to the USSR before 12 AM (EST), and I say, 'No problem--we'll WIZIG the RFBs using COMSTAT and a Wang VLR, and it'll show up there in your own John Hancock before you cross the IDL.' (You know, the international date line.) You can do that? says the senior VP, and I say, 'Sure. It's already done. A-OK.' Then the guy gets up--and checks the dictionary. It was so funny . . ."

"She solves quadratic equations in her head for fun. Blends her own perfume from those orchids she grows out back. And she refuses to let anyone else work on her '65 Mustang.

"And then there are Annabelle's legs. . . .

"Her legs can type 120 words per minute, throw together a mean bouillabaisse, and massage the hill off a hunchback. Her legs can juggle six golf balls, select the best Armagnac in the house, and tat up a storm, Those legs designed the new statehouse in Sacramento, they broke the land speed record at Bonneville, and they're up for that comptroller's spot at Arthur Andersen. They'll be directing Eddie Murphy's next picture, they do the Times crossword puzzle blindfolded, and they can program a vintage model VCR--Annabelle's legs.

"And then there's Annabelle's left eyebrow . . ."

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