Dennis Mascari was a lifelong Cubs fan, and he wanted to remain one in the afterlife, too. And so he designed a columbarium for the ashes of the most faithful of the north side's dead—nay, a monument, made of bricks covered with ivy, with a few eerily familiar green seats nearby where mourners could sit and remember their loved ones and contemplate whether a Cubs World Series victory would cause a permanent shift in the nature of the universe.
And what better place for such a monument than Bohemian National Cemetery on the northwest side, home to some of the most gloriously baroque tombstones in the city?
Beyond the Vines was dedicated in 2009. Among the first interred was Russell H. Adams, born in 1911, whose plaque reads, "I saw Ruth and Gehrig play at Wrigley." (Is it really necessary to make a crack about what he didn't see?) Mascari took his place in the tomb in 2011. His final message to the world: "Tap here after they win."
There are still plenty of "skyboxes" available in Beyond the Vines, but since Mascari's death, no one's been sure who you should call to secure one or how much it will cost. Paula Siudit, a spokeswoman for the cemetery, says that that matter should be cleared up in a few weeks.